tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34132882168077268072023-11-15T10:08:40.739-08:00A Diamond and her JewelThe journey of a young woman's life and faith after losing her daughter, Evelyn, who was stillborn at almost 40 weeks due to a nuchal cord accident.Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-77612406332920004552014-01-28T01:55:00.002-08:002014-01-28T02:22:56.129-08:00Dream: The Wolf on Wallstreet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I was trying to wake up from a nap and I was stuck in this place between sleep and wake(sleep paralysis) and this is when I experience the supernatural world sometimes. This person(it seemed) was massaging my neck, trying to help me wake up, and I was thinking wow, this feels nice. So, I asked the "person," who are you, and angel? It said no, I am not an a. I said, well are you Jesus or Satan? The person said well, I guess I am neither. Well then what are you.... a demon? Weeellllll, the person said, I guess you could call me a type of demon. Then I asked again, are you Satan? Then the person responded, you either have to love me or hate me. Well, are you Satan? Because I hate Satan. The person responded, well, God put me in this world to become a sort of Satan. So, I yelled at the thing to get out of my house in the name of Jesus, and that I loved Jesus with everything and that nothing could stop me from loving him...our bond was unbreakable. As the thing was leaving I was shouting at it with all that was in me with some scripture verses. I remember saying, Jesus said He is the way and the truth and the life and that no one can come to the Father except through Him. I realized my words were echoing into the town I was living in, because the door was now open. I realized I had been scared for the gospel to echo from my mouth into the public, but what I was saying was the Truth, and I knew there was power in my words...and it felt good, like a release, to finally blare the truth to the dying world. I seemed to now be in a city, in a very nice flat. The locks on the glass doors were electronic, and I was trying to lock them...and peering up at me from the bottom of the front stairs, which were quite long, was a wolf. I was a little scared he would come back in since I couldn't get the doors locked, so I pushed a button that I thought might unlock them if they were in fact already automatically locked. After I pushed the button, of course the doors unlocked, so the wolf came running up the stairs, and before it got to the door, I opened the door and threw my hand out in front of it and said something like the power of Jesus is mightier than and bear or wolf or bull, and can break any stronghold. The power that was coming from my hand stopped the wolf about five feet in front of me, and it threw the wolf back on the street.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>"For though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds." (2 Corinthians 10:3-4)</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I woke up, very out of it, got some food, and started recalling the dream. I was thinking to myself, what is this thing that God already put in the world, that would become some kind of antichrist. I had to either love it or hate it. OHHHH...money.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Matthew 6:24</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I was thinking about this beast that tried to enter my house a second time....the wolf I saw on the street at the bottom of the stairs. I was then reminded of the movie, The Wolf on Walstreet, that I had reluctantly watched with some friends a couple weekends ago. I could barely sit through the entire movie which was all about greed, selfishness, drugs, adultery, and the love of money. So, then I concluded that "The Wolf" on Wallstreet was not actually a person, but money. </span><br />
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Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-90816963241330737232013-05-30T08:53:00.000-07:002013-05-31T06:24:57.984-07:00Grace on Evelyn St.<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God is faithful to teach us about himself...and for me, he has been teaching me about His grace lately. I mean, I have a pretty good understanding of what grace is...like the head knowledge of it. I would describe it as the <b>undeserving love and protection</b>...and the ultimate grace being the saving of our souls through God revealing the light of the knowledge of His glory through the face of Christ.(2 Corin. 4:6). But the heart knowledge came very recently...or maybe it was more the apex of gaining it. I was asked to do a jewelry project with two ex-prostitutes, which is what the world would call them, but I call them rescued victims of sex trafficking. Because there is just more to it than that they just up and decided to sell their bodies to make money one day, because they were extremely lascivious and "trashy". Not usually the case at all. More than not there is child abuse in their past, physical, sexual, it doesn't matter...their parents sucked to say the least. They may have been neglected, not shown their worth, <b>not taught about their all-loving father in heaven</b>...basically treated like a prostitute...used, devalued, treated like an animal. So, they fulfilled this other-produced prophecy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I learned before I arrived that day that I would be meeting with two women at the place where they were housed by the organization to help them rebuild their lives....<b>both of them Caucasian, 29-year-old women...so the similarities began</b>. I started our session by opening up about my past to help them feel more comfortable and at ease with me...because I didn't want them to feel like I was coming in as some Bible-beating hypocrite to tell them the Truth about their sinful past and how to be a "better person"...like me...not! Because this is not AT ALL where my heart was upon accepting the invitation to meet with them... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(<b>Sidenote:</b> I began a relationship with the founders back in Nov '12 at an anti-human trafficking dance, and then in February of this year I began a jewelry cause as I call it, in which I would donate personalized hand stamped bracelets to girls and women who had been rescued from sex trafficking. "Adorn Her with His Promise. Giving Her Worth. Hope. Freedom." I donate one bracelet for every bracelet sold. It is the Jeremiah 29:11 verse using their name. I truly wanted to give these women a gift of hope using God's words spoken to them personally through something they would value that would make them feel valued. As I reached out to them to offer the bracelets, a door further opened to spend time with the girls making jewelry and doing crafts.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>My heart in working with these women was to allow God to use my story</b>, which involved a sinful past, particularly involving sexual sin...and sharing with them God's redemption story in me of his mercy, love and forgiveness and the new life He has given me in the past 3+ years. I particularly wanted to inspire them to get into God's word, and show them the revelations that God has given me through simply opening up the Bible. ("<span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12.)</span><b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Basically, I wanted them to know what I have now come to know...and that is the <b>freedom that comes from living a life in Christ</b>. I learned about their lives up until this point, we shared similar struggles with relationships and men...and just life in general. I shared a handful of scriptures that helped me during my time of need, and we made some awesome pearl wrap bracelets! In which they did a <i>way</i> better job than me, and were much quicker to finish as well! lol. I promised to come back sometime within the month, and I felt that they enjoyed the fellowship as much as I did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(Since then, I did a jewelry class with about 6 women at a program that offers life skills in which they attended. And, <i>of course</i> "jewelry making" is a life skill!! ;) I am now designing a signature piece for the organization (BY GOD'S GRACE!), and have the honor of making two special necklaces for these women...one of them is having a birthday on June 6th.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Back to this thing called GRACE</b>....OH MY....as I left their house that day, and felt God's presence...especially as I passed <b>Evelyn St.</b> and <b>Evelyn Pl.</b>(which is my deceased daughter's name...and the first time I had seen her name on a street sign)...and as He spoke to me on the ride home and as I came back to my beautiful home, provided so <i>graciously</i> by God...and my parents....I thought I am not any different than these women...and as I told my mom about my day, it came to me that...I <i>most</i> UNDENIABLY would be exactly where they are and where they have been by about two degrees...or two decisions...and by His Grace <i>alone</i> I am not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have <u>NOTHING</u> without his grace. I don't have my hands to feed myself, I don't have parents who took me in after all my horrible decisions. I am homeless, with a baby, <i>maybe</i> taken in by an organization like this to live on Evelyn St. I was so overcome by this knowledge of his grace in my life that it simply brought me to my knees and to tears of thankfulness for the grace that he has given me...which is less than some and more than others are given, but not by my own deeds or skills or choices. For instance, I am only given the ability to learn because he chose to give it to me...to the degree that he chose to give it to me. I was born in this country by his grace. I was given the parents I was given by His grace. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And the point, that I now understand better, is that I am no <i>better</i> than the woman that can't walk in Africa, that scoots around on the ground in her own feces, that knows maybe a handful of words, that most likely will never have the opportunity to read the Bible...I mean wow, HIS GRACE! I get it way more than I ever did...and it is <i>only</i> by His grace that He would show me and allow me to understand in the way that He did. Understanding his grace is very humbling...it leaves one in a sheer place of thankfulness for our undeserving blessings and gifts. A</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">nd that is His plan, to position our hearts to receive the Kingdom of God here and now, and for eternity. <i>(</i></span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3)</i>.</span></span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He desires to bring us into greater likeness with Christ every day to more accurately imitate the love of God to others, so that they may come to know Him through us; and to prepare us for our entrance into heaven, so that we may be found spotless and blameless before our Maker. <i>"</i></span><i><span class="text Eph-5-25" id="en-NIV-29330" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her</span><span class="text Eph-5-26" id="en-NIV-29331" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </span>to make her holy,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29331AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></span> cleansing her by the washing<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29331AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)"></span> with water through the word,</span><span class="text Eph-5-27" id="en-NIV-29332" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </span>and to present her to himself <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29332AR" title="See cross-reference AR">AR</a>)"></span>as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." Ephesians 5:25-27</span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fffefd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><i>And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's the truth, without eyes from God, we think we are better than other people and we believe that we accomplish and have things by our own means....we say, I did this, or I have this job, or I went to this college, or I climbed that mountain, or <i>we</i> made this beautiful child. You <i>are</i> nothing and <i>have</i> nothing without God's provision and grace. And I pray for everyone reading this, that you receive the heart knowledge of God's grace over <u>every</u> <u>single</u> thing in your life, about who you are and what you have...so he can lift you up, and so that you can see, understand, and humbly receive God's grace daily, growing in intimacy and knowledge of Him daily.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fffefd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><i>Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4</span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">:6,8-10</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we think we are better than another person it is a lie straight from the enemy. (By the way, I can only write about this, because I have been guilty of it in the past, and still struggle with it.) In this, we are affirming to ourselves and to the world that we are who we are and have what we have by our own means...we take credit for it, and do not accept that it is from the hand of God himself, by His grace <i>alone</i>. (<span class="text Hos-2-8" id="en-NLT-22090" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">She doesn’t realize it was I who gave her everything she has—</span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white;"><span class="text Hos-2-8" style="position: relative;">the grain, the new wine, the olive oil; </span></span><span class="text Hos-2-8" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">I even gave her silver and gold. </span><span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white;"><span class="text Hos-2-8" style="position: relative;">But she gave all my gifts to Baal. Hosea 2:8). </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If we did accept that it was from God alone, why would we think we are better than someone else? Well, we wouldn't, because we would know that God could have easily chosen that life or status for us, and so we would simply be thankful and humble about who God has made us to be and what he has given us, and not project on others a greater than or less than attitude. More importantly in this is that when we do not accept that we are given everything by God's grace, we are not able to show God's love...which is pure and without fault or judgement...showing no favoritism.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">"My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?" James 2:1-5</span></span></i><br />
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<b><span style="background-color: white;">Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29395A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white;"> Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, </span><span style="background-color: white;">not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.</span> Philippians 2:3-4</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And with this false mindset people are not able to know God through us...because we are living under a lie that is of the world, and accepted by the world, but is actually very far from the actual truth of what God has established to be <u>true</u>...and that is that we are <i>all</i> that we are, and have <i>all</i> that we have, <i>only</i> by God's grace.</span><br />
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<b><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But grow in the grace</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30541A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and knowledge</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30541B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30541C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u><b>More Scripture:</b></u></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck..." </span></span><b style="background-color: #fffefd; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Ezekial 16:11</b><span style="background-color: #fffefd; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> (I hope to write what God has spoken to me using this scripture soon...)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?" <b>Romans 9:21</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffefd; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>(By God's grace, I have <i>only</i> acquired "common use" grammar and writing skills...I know)</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="text Phil-2-5" id="en-NIV-29397"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29397I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text Phil-2-6" id="en-NIV-29398" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>Who, being in very nature<b> </b>God,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29398J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-6" style="position: relative;">did not consider equality with God<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29398K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></span> something to be used to his own advantage;</span></span><br /><span class="text Phil-2-7" id="en-NIV-29399" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>rather, he made himself nothing<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29399L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-7" style="position: relative;">by taking the very nature of a servant,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29399M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></span></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-7" style="position: relative;">being made in human likeness.<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29399N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></span></span></span><br /><span class="text Phil-2-8" id="en-NIV-29400" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>And being found in appearance as a man,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-8" style="position: relative;"><b>he humbled himself</b></span></span><b><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-8" style="position: relative;">by becoming obedient to death<span class="crossreference" style="vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29400O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></span>—</span></span></b><span class="indent-2"><span class="indent-2-breaks"><b> </b></span><span class="text Phil-2-8" style="position: relative;"><b>even death on a cross!</b><span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29400P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text Phil-2-9" id="en-NIV-29401" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>Therefore God exalted him<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29401Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></span> to the highest place</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-9" style="position: relative;">and gave him the name that is above every name,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29401R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></span></span></span><br /><span class="text Phil-2-10" id="en-NIV-29402" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29402S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-10" style="position: relative;">in heaven and on earth and under the earth,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29402T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></span></span></span><br /><span class="text Phil-2-11" id="en-NIV-29403" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,<span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29403U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Phil-2-11" style="position: relative;">to the glory of God the Father.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Philippians 2:5-11</b></span></div>
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<span class="text Hos-2-14" style="position: relative;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hosea 2:14-23---LOVE THIS!!</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text Hos-2-14" style="position: relative;">But then I will win her back once again.</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-14" style="position: relative;">I will lead her into the desert</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-14" style="position: relative;">and speak tenderly to her there.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-15" id="en-NLT-22097" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span><b>I will return her vineyards to her</b></span><b><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-15" style="position: relative;">and transform the Valley of Trouble<span class="footnote" style="vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NLT-22097b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+2&version=NLT#fen-NLT-22097b" style="text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote b">b</a>]</span> into a gateway of hope.</span></span></b><br /><span class="text Hos-2-15" style="position: relative;">She will give herself to me there,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-15" style="position: relative;">as she did long ago when she was young,</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-15" style="position: relative;">when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. When that day comes,” says the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>,</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-16" style="position: relative;"><b>“you will call me ‘my husband’</b></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-16" style="position: relative;">instead of ‘my master.’<span class="footnote" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NLT-22098c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+2&version=NLT#fen-NLT-22098c" style="text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote c">c</a>]</span></span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-17" id="en-NLT-22099" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>O Israel, I will wipe the many names of Baal from your lips,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-17" style="position: relative;">and you will never mention them again.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-18" id="en-NLT-22100" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>On that day I will make a covenant</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">with all the wild animals and the birds of the sky</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">and the animals that scurry along the ground</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">so they will not harm you.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">I will remove all weapons of war from the land,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">all swords and bows,</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">so you can live unafraid</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-18" style="position: relative;">in peace and safety.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-19" id="en-NLT-22101" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>I will make you my wife forever,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-19" style="position: relative;">showing you righteousness and justice,</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-19" style="position: relative;">unfailing love and compassion.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-20" id="en-NLT-22102" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span><b>I will be faithful to you and make you mine,</b></span><b><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-20" style="position: relative;">and you will finally know me as the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>.</span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text Hos-2-21" id="en-NLT-22103" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>“In that day, I will answer,”</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-21" style="position: relative;">says the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-21" style="position: relative;">“I will answer the sky as it pleads for clouds.</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-21" style="position: relative;">And the sky will answer the earth with rain.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-22" id="en-NLT-22104" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>Then the earth will answer the thirsty cries</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-22" style="position: relative;">of the grain, the grapevines, and the olive trees.</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-22" style="position: relative;">And they in turn will answer,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-22" style="position: relative;">‘Jezreel’—‘God plants!’</span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-23" id="en-NLT-22105" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;"> </span>At that time I will plant a crop of Israelites</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-23" style="position: relative;">and raise them for myself.</span></span><br /><b><span class="text Hos-2-23" style="position: relative;">I will show love</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-23" style="position: relative;">to those I called ‘Not loved.’<span class="footnote" style="vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NLT-22105d" title="See footnote d">d</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+2&version=NLT#fen-NLT-22105d" style="text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote d">d</a>]</span></span></span><br /><span class="text Hos-2-23" style="position: relative;">And to those I called ‘Not my people,’<span class="footnote" style="vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NLT-22105e" title="See footnote e">e</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+2&version=NLT#fen-NLT-22105e" style="text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote e">e</a>]</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Hos-2-23" style="position: relative;">I will say, ‘Now you are my people.’</span></span></b><br /><span class="text Hos-2-23" style="position: relative;">And they will reply, ‘You are our God!’”</span></span></div>
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Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-77125199735538282222012-12-28T12:16:00.003-08:002012-12-31T17:23:17.904-08:00Keeping the Sabbath Holy in the Backseat of a Cop Car<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was not by accident or mistake that I got to take a trip in the backseat of a patrol car a couple weeks ago...in tears, as we usually are when we are in the hands of the law. God is so purposeful and faithful as our teacher, but it isn't always without pain or fear. I was on my way to work when...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, let me back up to the night before. I was on my way to JoAnn's, and at the last minute I realized I needed to be in the right lane to turn. Something told me to just get over, but I was only a few feet from the light, and it would have been a little difficult, so I decided to just go in the back way from Steve Reynolds. As I sat at the light, a few cars back in the left lane, I saw a young girl walking on the sidewalk to the right, turning right on Pleasant Hill. It was dark outside, maybe 8pm or so, with a purse and a backpack on. She appeared to be High School age. I immediately thought I should stop to make sure she is okay, that she doesn't need any help. After learning that many girls are trafficked after running away from home, and are usually picked up within 48 hours by their predators, I realized that this could be unfolding right before my eyes, or moments after. And if I don't stop, who would be the next person that stops for her? Someone to help her or someone to hurt her?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I couldn't turn right at this point without making a huge scene and causing people to blare their horns at me, so I just went straight and pulled into JoAnns from the back. I started to feel guilty, so I went straight through to the front and looked on </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pleasant Hill </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the way the girl was headed. I didn't see her for some way, and realized she either made it to her destination or someone picked her up. So, I just pulled on Pleasant Hill and u-turned back to JoAnns. I couldn't stop thinking about this all night. I prayed for her, and just promised that I'd do whatever I could to stop next time if I saw a situation that looked suspect. I can't remember when it was, but it was either that day or the day before that I had seen a young female with an older man. By the differences in their appearance, I had no reason to believe they were related, and the age difference was stark. She didn't seem to be afraid or uncomfortable, but I just didn't feel right about it. I didn't have time to do anything. They were leaving the gas station as I was coming in. So, all I could do is just pray for this girl. As I do think prayer is important in the fight against human trafficking both locally and abroad, I believe we need to be true advocates in all sense of the word. If we see these situations, we need to act. Stop and inquire, call in a license plate, etc. It sounds crazy, but if over *200 girls are being commercially sexually exploited each month in Georgia, and if what they say is true that much of this is going on in the suburbs...it is happening right under our nose. You may be pumping gas, minding your own business, and one of these pimps stops with one of his girls on the way to a hotel to get a soda or to fill up. It happens every day. (*Figure from <i>A Future. Not a Past.</i>)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">God has opened my eyes to this issue in a way I almost wish he hadn't. One way to prevent sex trafficking in the future is to mentor a child, who is at-risk to be a pimp or a victim of CSEC (Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children) one day. A common thread among pimps and victims is that they did not have a positive role model growing up. They also might have experienced sexual abuse, not reported and dealt with properly, and maybe just general neglect and a lack of love in their lives. We can also help by just keeping our eyes open, not going to and from in this world, ignoring everyone around us, pretending we have no power to help, make a change, or prevent crime and abuse. That's what you do by the way, maybe not you specifically, but the majority of the population just minds their own business, selfishly handling their own personal errands and tasks for the day...not open to helping a stranger or someone in need. It is a disgrace. And I am absolutely guilty of this at times as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, you say, sometimes there are setups where young women lure people to their broke down car and then out pops her boyfriend from the trunk who forces you in the car to mug you, rape you, or kill you. Oh geez, really? I mean be careful out there, sure, especially if you are a woman alone, but do not use that as an excuse to never help strangers. I pray before I help someone, and I know that the protection of God is with me. And if I die, trying to be Christ to a stranger to possibly share the good news with them, then so be it! Christ was mocked, rejected, tortured, whipped, stoned, and hung on a cross, baring our sins. But we should "<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">rejoice that (we) participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that (we) may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." Peter 4:13. </span></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I cannot afford to sit on the judgment seat of Christ and say, well, God, I didn't help your people...I didn't help Jesus...because it was a little too risky...I could have been hurt. <span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;">“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’(Matthew 25:45). </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will not look into his eyes and tell him NO...hopefully ever again. My story is coming, I promise.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">"Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, </span><em style="background-color: white;">the devil</em><span style="background-color: white;"> will put some of you in prison to </span><em style="background-color: white;">test</em><span style="background-color: white;"> you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the </span><em style="background-color: white;">point of death,</em><span style="background-color: white;"> and I will give you the crown of life." Revelation 2:10</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who can kill the body and that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after killing the body, has the power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him." Luke 12:4-5</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, the day after I saw the girl on my way to JoAnns, I was on my way to work and ran out of gas in Johns Creek. By the way, this is my second day to work at a seasonal job, so you can imagine my state of mind. It is a Sunday, and I'm already feeling guilty about missing church, ignoring the Sabbath, and working instead. I ran out of gas simply because my gas gage doesn't work, I know, winner :) And, yes, I calculated my mileage with gallons, etc., but thought I had a little extra from the previous fill up...and obviously I didn't. I managed to pull over on the side of the road, and did what I'd always do...call mom and dad. Dad is volunteering at church with his phone on silent, and mom is watching my nieces. She goes to load them in the car to find out my bro and sister-in-law didn't leave a car seat. UGHH. Ok, so I asked her if I should just wait for dad to get done serving. Maybe another hour. No, I will be too late to work by then. Then I asked her if I should just walk to the gas station as I see many people doing, and she said, "yeah, that's probably your best bet at this point." It was only maybe a mile away. The whole time I'm praying I don't get hit and die, unless it's his will, and that God will send someone to help me. I had been praying for him to send someone to help me as I sat in my car for about 5 minutes after deciding to walk. I thought maybe someone would stop, as I had once done for other people. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">No one stops, so I get out to walk, trusting God has this figured out somewhere along the way. First of all, it is so awkward walking down the street by yourself, where there is no sidewalk. I am scared I will get hit by someone texting, so I try to walk far from the street in the grass. Then I have to make it over a bridge with a VERY small shoulder...if you can even call it that. </span><span style="background-color: white;">I wait until all the cars have passed and I jump up on...practically the railing of the bridge where there is some concrete. All these cars pass me, and not one of them stops. I wonder if I got up on the railing like I was going to jump, if anyone would stop for that. I mean, you would think SOMEONE might wonder why a young women is walking on the side of a street, not to mention, they have just passed a car pulled over with the emergency lights on. The whole time I'm walking, I'm thinking about this girl last night and many girls that are really in need...she is scared, alone in this cold world, wondering if anyone notices her...if anyone will stop to help her. On my way, one lady stops, I think to ask me if I'm okay. She just sits in this empty parking lot with a homeless shelter pick-up truck in it for a few seconds as I walk towards her, she looks at me, and then just pulls back onto the road. I imagine she is thinking what I was the night before...should I stop to check on this girl? She seems like she is okay. I don't want to seem strange and offer to help her...she's probably fine. Oh well, I will just keep driving. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then I pass a Catholic Mission Church who is conveniently having an outdoor picnic or something. I figure I am almost to the gas station so I won't bother them. They are so engrossed in what they are doing I don't even think they saw me. I mean, I'm sure they don't want to be inconvenienced during their planned festival to help someone in need. I get to the gas station...thank GOD I have money. So I buy the little gas can, go to fill it up, and think, surely I can find someone here that will drive me back so I won't be <i>even</i> later than I already am. I have called work by now, of course, to tell them what is going on. I see a lady, maybe in her 60's and ask her very politely if she could drive me to my car about a mile up the street. "No," she says, "I can't" and won't even look at me. I had said to myself that I would just ask women, but as I look around, all I see are men. I am baffled to say the least that this woman says no, that now it is like this point I feel I need to make...like, WILL NO ONE help me?? I just can't believe it. I walk up to a guy in a BMW SUV. "Sir, would you mind driving me to my car a mile up the road, I ran out of gas." He just says, "No." Okeedokey, next person. A couple in a van, "No, I'm sorry." Now, the first lady starts yelling at me as she sees these people say no to me, and says, "Go talk to the attendant, that's what they're here for!!" in a mean and agitated tone. Nope, I'm on a mission to see just how cold and cruel our world really is. I mean, am I not allowed to ask a stranger for help? What is the gas station attendant going to do? Call me a cab? The next guy I ask says, "Well that road is down that way and much further than a mile, are you sure? Me: "No, sir, it is the other way and only about a mile up. I just came from there." (duh). Anyway, so he says in a mean tone, "Well, if you hurry up, I have to go pick up my daughter from Sunday School." Fabulous, a real nice "Christian" man. So, I am like panicking at this point, thinking he is my only option, trying to "hurry up" and get my debit card swiped, entering my pin as fast as I can to then fill up. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Then a cop car pulls behind me, "Are you Christine?" Me: "Yes, sir???" Guy from across the way yells, "Hurry UP! I gotta go!" The cop says to me, "Do you know this man??" </span><span style="background-color: white;">Me to the cop: "Can you take me back to my car?" </span><span style="background-color: white;">Not sure if even he will say yes. He says sure. I yell back at the man that the cop is going to take me. Cop asks me again, "Do you know that man??" "No, but I asked like 5 other people if they could help me and they said no." (OK</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">, it was 3, but it felt like 5.) </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Tears of relief are welling up in my eyes that my helper has come. Policeman: "oh, well that's nice...did you know you left your lights on and your purse in your car?" Me: "No, I didn't realize I left my lights on, but yes, I left my purse because I didn't want to carry it." I had my debit and license on me. I thought I might be a target walking down the street with my purse on me. Of course, I guess I could have put it in the trunk, but wasn't really thinking someone in John's Creek is going to pull over, steel my wheels and try to break in my car in broad daylight. Policeman: "Well I came looking for you because something just didn't look right." Thank God! He answers prayer! And, this cop might have saved me from more than we know. See, God's hand was in me leaving a strange scene behind with my lights on and purse in the passenger seat...oh and my wallet hanging out as well he said. He then proceeds to tell me how there are all kinds of crazy people out there and I could have just called them. They handle much bigger problems for people then just taking someone to get gas. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I finish filling up and he opens his back door for me to get in. First ride in the backseat of a cop car! Honestly, it made me want to cry even though I didn't do anything wrong...partly out of just knowing I was safe, that I could let my guard back down...the whole experience was just very emotional for me. Doesn't everyone cry the first time they ride in the back of a cop car? Did you know that the seats are this really hard plastic? I sat down as my cell phone crunched in my back pocket. When we got to my car we laughed as we both tried to figure out this gas can for like 5 min. It was really complicated, maybe a 5 year old could have figured it out quicker than us. Finally we figured it out, got the gas in the car, and went our separate ways. </span><span style="background-color: white;">He was a very nice man and gave me his card to call him if I was ever in this situation again.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> I tried to hold it together, but I basically had a meltdown on the way to work, just thinking about how bad it felt to feel like I needed help from a stranger and no one was willing. Rejected one by one. I thought about all the people out there that <i>really</i> need help. I mean, the reality is I could have just walked back to my car with my gas, and would have been fine. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">But what I think is that God really wanted me to experience this, to feel the pain of those that are in need in the world, and can't get anyone to turn and help them. I don't think it was an accident that neither of my parents could help me that day. I could have called a friend, but I didn't want to bother them on a Sunday for something this stupid. I grew up fairly sheltered and always "taken care of." I've always had someone to call when in need. I thought about a young women who didn't have any family around, and maybe no money to get gas...what does <i>she</i> do? I guess she calls the cops or ends up getting picked up by a pimp. Isn't it sad though, that we can only count on a paid public officer to help someone in need? Where are the Christians, Oh Ye Christian nation?! Oh yeah, they are on their way to church and don't want to be even later than they already are, or they are in rush to pick up their child from Sunday School, clearly not attempting to be part of the body themselves. It made me realize how it wasn't as important that I missed church that Sunday, as it is for me to BE a Christian every day...like I needed someone to be for me that day. The reality is, many Christians passed me that day on their way to church, but they didn't want to be late for Rudy Vaughn's, "Emmanuel." </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u><b>Matthew 25:31-46</b></u></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-32.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>32</b></a></span>All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-33.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>33</b></a></span>He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-34.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>34</b></a></span>“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-35.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>35</b></a></span>For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-36.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>36</b></a></span>I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-37.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>37</b></a></span>“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?<span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-38.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>38</b></a></span>When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-39.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>39</b></a></span>When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-40.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>40</b></a></span>“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-41.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>41</b></a></span>“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-42.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>42</b></a></span>For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-43.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>43</b></a></span>I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-44.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>44</b></a></span>“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-45.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;"><b>45</b></a></span>“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do </span><span style="background-color: white;">for me.’ </span><span class="reftext" style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><b><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/25-46.htm" style="text-decoration: initial;">46</a></b></span><span style="background-color: white;">“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: small; line-height: normal; text-indent: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.” </span></span></div>
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Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-87552084253070379012012-12-03T11:46:00.000-08:002012-12-03T11:51:24.377-08:00Spared by Her GoodnessThe Christmas season is a very sentimental and emotional time for many...and more this year for me than every before. As I grow closer to Jesus, and behold just what God has done for us in sending himself in the flesh...as a little baby, I am just overwhelmed with gratitude and filled with awe. Losing my baby has brought me into a deeper heart knowledge of God and His love in allowing his only son to be sacrificed for all that would believe in him. Celebrating Jesus as a "baby" at Christmas makes it all the more emotional, naturally. Many times I felt that Evelyn was sacrificed for my life. Symbolically, I see her as a little Jesus to me. The reality is I led a very sinful life prior to Evie's entry into my life...which began long before I gave birth to her. See, God knows us before we are ever born, and in a sense, I believe our children are known to us in a deep place before they are ever conceived. Maybe it's the love that grows between a man and a woman prior to having children, or for instance, the discussion of baby names before a child is on the way. Evie was named a few short months before her life essentially began here on earth.<br />
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As I have read stories in the Bible about child loss, and in some instances as a result of sin, I have naturally concluded at times that this is why she died...because of my sin. Only yesterday I had this discussion with a group of friends after church. One man in the conversation assured me that her death was not result of anything I did wrong. I have been told this many times, but how can I not think that when I read the exact opposite in the Bible? I do know that God disciplines those he considers sons and daughters, and it is out of his love for us, to make us more like his son, Jesus. There are also very real consequences to sin here on earth. Sometimes I think that Evie was taken home to be with her heavenly father to spare me of a tough life as a single mother, but mostly I think it was for her to be spared of the complicated and possibly dysfunctional life that she would have had, given the dynamics between her father and I. Maybe she was not sacrificed at all, but was spared and blessed...with my life being the sacrifice...of having to carry the weight of her absence for the rest of my life.<br />
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I prayed a lot about this that afternoon, because bringing this up again stirs up a lot of emotion and anxiety for me. I was kinda dozing in and out of sleep as I do often during prayer, and many of you are probably thinking oh yeah, that happens to me too! And having narcolepsy makes this a very often occurrence for me. Sometimes I hear songs or words during this dozing time, in an very real, audible way. Auditory hallucinations are a symptom of narcolepsy...upon sleeping or waking..."half-asleep" states as I call them. No, I don't just "hear things" walking around in broad day light! I feel God has only used this disorder in a way that allows me to hear him and grow closer to him through it. God can speak to all of us, to our hearts, our minds, in dreams, through scripture, through people, and even audibly sometimes. What I hear from God during these times of waking or dozing are not random. Moreover, there are only a handful of times I have heard from God in this way and I can back it up with what cannot be considered coincidence.<br />
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Yesterday as I was dozing off in my prayer time, I heard "kings," which caused me to wake up fully. I immediately thought to read in Kings. When I got to the chapter, I just started reading where I landed...and began reading the story of Jeroboam and his son, Abijah. Basically Abijah gets sick, so Jeroboam sends his wife and the child to the prophet, Ahijah, to find out what will become of the child. This is the same prophet that told Jeroboam he would be king. When she arrived, Ahijah(prophet) told her that because Jeroboam had not been like God's servant David who kept all the commandments, and who followed God with all his heart, but instead did more evil than all who came before him, he would bring disaster on his house. Abijah then said to her, "When your feet enter the city, the child shall die. And all Israel shall mourn for him and bury him, for he is the only one of Jeroboam who shall come to the grave, because in him there is found something good toward the Lord God of Israel in the house of Jeroboam." 1 Kings 14:12,13. The way it is stated makes it seem as if this child is the ONLY one who gets the honor of death, because of his favor with the Lord. The footnotes in my Bible say, "Sometimes God takes the life of the righteous to spare them from evil." It references Isaiah 57:1: "The righteous perishes, And no man takes it to heart; Merciful men are taken away, While no one considers that the righteous is taken away from evil. He shall enter into peace..." The footnotes here say: "We will never know until heaven how many godly men and women have died early in life as a result of God's grace. He takes some home so that evil things might not touch them."<br />
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I know that by God's grace he led me to this scripture, and I now feel I have the answer for my daughter's death...one that is good enough for me, as I will most likely never fully understand her early death, because God's ways and his thoughts are so much higher than ours. I feel after this I will no longer focus on her death as a punishment for my sins, but as a sign of her goodness, that by God's grace he would spare her from the evil that could have hurt her in this world. And for that, all I can say is "Hallelujah!"Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-66499654660303804672012-09-25T20:35:00.004-07:002012-09-25T20:35:43.290-07:00An Unlikely Rainbow<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As the months and now years have past since Evie began a new life in heaven, many of mom's that I grieved with have started new chapters with their "Rainbow Babies." The rainbow is the baby that comes after the storm or the loss. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">" 'Rainbow Babies' is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."</span></span><br />
<br clear="all" style="background-color: #eaf2f5; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;" /><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Without the immediate hope of starting a new chapter with my own rainbow baby, God somehow gave me strength and peace in spite of that reality, and allowed me to share in their healing. I felt lifted out of the storm with them in seeing the joy and the life in their eyes, watching them through their pregnancies, and then seeing their healthy babies when they arrived. Inspired by rainbow's Judah Courage(brother to Bella Grace in heaven) and Scarlet Noelle(sister to Lainey Grace and Evelyn Juliet in heaven) I created a new product for my Etsy store, Rainbow Signs. In making this bright and colorful gift for these babies and their parents, I felt God speaking to me that I was also entering a new chapter, the "rainbow chapter" in my own life. Because a baby is probably the closest comfort a mother can get after losing her child, however not a replacement of the child that is gone...it is natural to think that rainbow "baby" is the buzz word in the baby loss community. For me, God has many rainbows in store for me, but just not a rainbow baby in the near future, unless you hear me tell of the miracle child conceived by the Holy Spirit! ha! I am hopeful of the rainbows in store for me, and I will be patient for my "rainbow baby," because God's timing is perfect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Saturday I spent some time with sweet rainbow, Judah Courage and his parents at his baby shower, where I was so blessed to be able to give away my first Rainbow Sign. I left the shower and got a little turned around, so I stopped in a turn lane going into a neighborhood and pulled up the GPS on my phone. As I was looking to see where I was by the street names, I saw that I was directly in front of Rainbow Circle. I was shocked, but not too much, because God is able to do anything! I took out my phone to take a picture of it, and then proceeded to turn around. I began looking at my GPS again to notice that there was also a Rainbow Dr. in that neighborhood as well. I thought that was interesting to I looked back at the entrance and noticed the neighborhood was named Rainbow Estates. I'm not sure how I missed this when I was first taking a picture of the street name right in front of it, but I think this is how we are with many things in life. We are so focused on what we want to see or what we are looking for, that we miss what is right in front of us...what has been there all along. I began processsing this thought, and felt God speak to my spirit, that he was giving me a rainbow, but just not the one I was looking for...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">That night I got a call from a friend of seven years that lives in India. He had been trying to reach me for a day or so, and we finally caught each other. This is someone who I have always found easy to talk to and no matter how much time had passed between talking we could always pick right back up. We have been saying for years now how I was coming to India to visit, or he was coming here to work. I also joked with him that when I came I wasn't going to tell him beforehand, and was just going to show up at his work one day. He said, no I couldn't do that because he would need to plan some places to take me. SOOO...when we talked Saturday, he asked me how far I lived from Duluth, and I just said casually, I dunno, maybe 5 minutes. He said, Oh good, because I am here in Duluth....WHAT?? Well, actually I didn't say anything...speechless...and paralyzed, literally. Thank goodness I was on the couch! He kept saying, hello?, hello?....then he finally just hung up and called back. LOL. So I immediately went to see him and he made me sit on the couch right away, because I warned him I may have an episode and not to worry if I collapsed. I have cataplexy which causes me to become paralyzed with any heightened emotion (laughter, sadness, excitement), and if I'm standing when this happens, it basically looks like crumbling to the ground...I don't just fall straight over.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The first evening we hung out and talked about life, his wife and new baby, etc. He made the comment that while his son is learning all new things in India, he is here learning all new things here. He has never lived outside of his home with his parents and siblings, never cooked, nor left India. I was just so excited to take him anywhere. So, we went to Suwanee days and sat at a coffee shop for a while. He came back to the house to meet my parents and Max, and witnessed a little bit of a game of Taboo between my parents and their friends. I can't explain the joy at the thought of getting out again and doing things, the simple things, as we discussed all he had hoped of doing while he was here. It was so funny because the other day my good friend and I were just talking about how I needed to try to get out and "live" again...and how I felt I was really just not there yet, but admitted I felt God pushing me out of a life mostly in isolation. I even prayed for someone to help me, because I just didn't feel like I could do it on my own. All the while during my first evening with Om, I was not really connecting the dots on the timing of his move...this blessing that was before me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was so excited at the thought of being able to experience some of these "firsts" with him during his stay in the U.S.! I woke up the next morning and thought about what a blessing it was that God sent him at this exact time in my life, but also what a sacrifice for him to be missing out on time with his wife and new baby to gain new work experience in the U.S. I am immensely excited to be his aid around this side of the world for a short time, and I also can't wait to spend time with both his wife and son when they arrive. We talked about how old the baby would be about the time they planned on traveling here, and he talked about getting to be a child again when his son is moving around and playing....he said, you get to be a child three times in life...your childhood, through your children, and then through your grandchildren. This guy has so many amazing insights! This reminded me of my grandmother talking about how amazing it was to see through my eyes during my first trip to Disney World. She says I just marveled at tinker bell coming out of the castle, and the look in my eye was something she will never forget. She was living through me on that trip...and feeling that same joy with me in those moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To have a rainbow baby, means to move from the storm of loss towards hope in new life, experiencing all the happiness and joy of a new baby with all of the child's "firsts" in life...while still remembering the storm, and at times being painfully reminded of those firsts that you didn't get to experience with the child that has passed on into a new life in heaven. I know that God has many rainbows in store for my life...but today, I am thankful for the rainbow that came all the way from India, my friend Om. He has given me a chance to be a child again, and through his eyes, I will also marvel at all the "new."</span>Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-17781638557195422182012-08-09T17:26:00.000-07:002012-08-09T19:50:00.375-07:00Miracle-Exodus 31<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I title this miracle, because it truly is a miracle. I have received a handful of "miracles" from God after I gave my life to him, and I cannot wait to share them all soon!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I will not die but live,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">and <b>will proclaim what the <span class="nivsmallcaps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> has done</b>.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The <span class="nivsmallcaps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> has chastened me severely,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">but he has not given me over to death. Psalm 118:17-18</span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-73-28" id="en-NIV-15049" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; position: relative;">But as for me, it is good to be near God. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-15049AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-73-28" style="position: relative;">I have made the Sovereign <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> my refuge; <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-15049AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-73-28" style="position: relative;"><b>I will tell of all your deeds</b>. Psalm 73:28</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>My mouth will tell of your righteous acts</b>, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. Psalm 71:15</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px;">I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart; <b>I will tell of all Your wonders</b>. Psalm 9:1</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After losing Evie, I struggled to find purpose in my life. I was in this weird place, because I had prepared for so long to be her mother and to take care of her, and when I lost her...I knew I was still her mother, but she was not here on earth for me to care for anymore. I knew I was called to go deeper into God's Word, and I knew that I enjoyed using my creativity. I had started my business with Premier Designs Jewelry, and I had also begun making what I now call "Jewel Boards." These are framed jewelry organizers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was really on my heart to start making something in wood. I wasn't sure why, but it had become a strong desire of mine. I also knew that I wanted to make something for parents that had lost children. I was feeling very confused for a time about what God really wanted me to do with my life. There were times when I felt He wanted me to give up everything and go to India to work with women and children...and although I do still feel this is in the future for me, I didn't have peace that "now" was the right time. I know that it will be in my future in some way or another, whether it is full-time mission work, a ministry of my own, or short-term missions. I am leaving that up to how God continues to shape it into my life. For now, I am fundraising once a year at Evie's birthday through the "Jewels from Heaven" benefit to benefit ministries in India. This will be our second year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But what about the rest of my time? What am I supposed to do? I asked God...I begged Him, actually, to tell me why he created me. I said, "God why did you put me here, what is your purpose for me?" I was crying out from my woundedness, feeling like my purpose in caring for my daughter was stripped from me...so I was desperate for God to respond. I had felt "Exodus" jump out at me for some reason prior to this prayer. It was on something I had near me at that time. After the prayer, I began reading my Jesus Calling devotional, and one of the references was in Exodus. I, now, really felt God was telling me to read in Exodus. So, I opened up to Exodus and just started reading wherever I landed. This is what I read...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="text Exod-31-1" style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Then the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> said to Moses,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"> </span><span class="text Exod-31-2" id="en-NIV-2423" style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">2 </sup>“See, I have chosen Bezalel <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-2423B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>son of Uri, the son of Hur, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-2423C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup>of the tribe of Judah,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"> </span><span class="text Exod-31-3" id="en-NIV-2424" style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">3 </sup>and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-2424D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup>and with all kinds of skills <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-2424E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup>—</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"> </span><span class="text Exod-31-4" id="en-NIV-2425" style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">4 </sup>to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze,</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"></span></span><span class="text Exod-31-5" id="en-NIV-2426" style="background-color: white;"><sup class="versenum" style="color: #a64d79; font-size: x-large; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">5 </sup><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">to cut and set jewels, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts.</span><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"> Exodus 31:1-5</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AHHH!!!! Really??? This is why I keep talking about this amazing God that has found me! Because He speaks to us in such a personal way, and only by His grace, direction, and favor can we live our lives for His glory...which is the best life available to us. Out of every single verse in the entire Bible...this is like winning the Mega Millions. There is not one verse that is more fitting and perfect for God to speak to me on my purpose...what He created me to do. For those of you that have read, "My Jewel" post, you would also understand how it is even more crazy that the word 'jewel' is used in this verse...of course it would be...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I, then. felt peace about moving forward with my idea for making something in wood. Soon after, God gave me the exact vision for what I now call "Angel Signs." These are wooden wall hangings with a child's name, and a quote on another board, connected by ribbon and hung by ribbon. I had a strong desire for Evelyn's name to still hang on my wall, but in a way that memorialized her and was respectful of the loss. It was painful for me to see the bright, polka-dotted letters that once hung above her crib. So, I make the Angel Signs in a soft gray, with either light pink, blue, or cream lettering and ribbon. I am selling these on Etsy as well as on an online memorial boutique. So far, God has blessed me to touch the homes of 18 families. I hope that one day it will be thousands! God will continue to shape and mold me all for His Glory...and they will know that it is the Lord that has done this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Check them out here! <a href="http://www.evelynmarie.moonfruit.com/#/angel-name-signs/4564653385">Angel Name Signs</a>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><b>I will make rivers flow on barren heights.....so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the LORD has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it. Isaiah 40:16,20.</b></span><br />
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<span class="text Ps-145-17" id="en-NIV-16338" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; position: relative;">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> is righteous <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16338AN" title="See cross-reference AN">AN</a>)"></sup>in all his ways</span><br />
<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-145-17" style="position: relative;">and faithful in all he does. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16338AO" title="See cross-reference AO">AO</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-145-18" id="en-NIV-16339" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">18 </sup>The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> is near <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16339AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></sup>to all who call on him, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16339AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-145-18" style="position: relative;">to all who call on him in truth.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-145-19" id="en-NIV-16340" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">19 </sup><b>He fulfills the desires <sup class="crossreference" style="vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16340AR" title="See cross-reference AR">AR</a>)"></sup>of those who fear him</b>; <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16340AS" title="See cross-reference AS">AS</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-145-19" style="position: relative;">he hears their cry <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16340AT" title="See cross-reference AT">AT</a>)"></sup>and saves them. </span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white;"><span class="text Ps-145-19" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; position: relative;">Psalm 145:17-19</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-68610591521481497882012-08-04T09:24:00.001-07:002012-08-04T16:39:44.511-07:00Storing Up Treasure in Heaven<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The more I am in tune with eternity and heaven, naturally the more I understand how short life is. There are many scripture passages that speak to this, but why is it so hard for us to let this truth sink deep into our spirits? We rarely think about our death, and that it is imminent...given how short our lives are. He says our life is but a breath...and that we should simply enjoy his presence each moment and rest in the knowledge and joy of our salvation...that we will spend eternity with the Father, and the angels, and our loved ones who are saved...in a real, physical place called heaven. God says we should not boast about tomorrow, and that we are just to live and focus on one day at at time...because it has enough trouble of it's own. We are not to worry about tomorrow.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow. Psalm 144:4</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. Psalm 39:5</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am beyond blessed to have the experience of the sweet girl that changed my life and my eternity, my daughter, Evelyn. What a jewel she is. God took the only thing I ever truly loved, and he brought it to himself...pulling my heart and my attention to Him along with her. He has blessed me with eyes that see and ears that hear...spiritual wisdom through the Holy Spirit and the Word. Eternal pleasures at his right hand, he has bestowed upon me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. Matthew 13:16</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By his grace, I get it. I know why I'm here...for the most part...and I know in my soul what matters and what doesn't in this world. I know I'm going to heaven...and God has given me such a real experience of what heaven is like through dreams and other's experiences in books...so that I could grasp it...and live in a way to yearn for it, seeking to glorify the Lord with my life, and to want the best there is to have when I get to heaven. We will all give an account of our lives before God...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">‘every knee will bow before me;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">every tongue will confess to God.’”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad" 2 Corin 5:10.</span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">God's word says, <b><span style="font-size: large;">"</span></b></span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Sell your possessions and give to the poor. </span><span style="background-color: white;"><sup class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-25493A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup></span><span style="background-color: white;">Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven </span><span style="background-color: white;"><sup class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-25493B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup></span></span></b><span style="background-color: white;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys." </span></b>(Luke 12:33). And in Matthew,</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">"</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal." (Matthew 6:19). After I lost Evelyn, and by God's grace, He gave me the desire to live this way. And I'm not there yet, but He continues to mold and shape me to align my life with this calling. Possessions became meaningless to me after I lost the precious life of my daughter...all the baby stuff...everything was meaningless, everything was there...but she wasn't. I started giving things away, and I knew in my heart that he had taught me a lesson in his Truth that few are ever blessed to learn. He is preparing me for the most glorious plan He has for me...to glorify Him...in living not for myself...and it is the only way. For now, I have been called to create the opportunity for others to build treasure in heaven along with me, through a benefit near my daughter's birthday, <b>"Jewels from Heaven."</b> Last year, God's presence showed up in a big way, and we will continue to pray for him to be glorified this year. Please pray with me over this night, <b>Friday, October 26th, 2012</b>, and I hope some of you will come out to support the cause...TBA. It will be a fun night with good food, live music, silent auction, and raffle in honor of Evelyn and other children in heaven! Thank you to all that supported last year!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">God has done so much to grow my faith in Him </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">in the last two years since I lost my daughter</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">...as the Living God....that speaks and works in a real way, and He has not stopped revealing things to me since I fully gave my life to him. God is faithful! I hope to be writing all these stories soon, since I am a little behind with all the moves and changes God has been making in my life. Thank you all for your prayers over my life as I seek God's will and heal from the greatest loss of my life. Bless you!</span></span>Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-22359064419856657872012-05-07T09:13:00.000-07:002012-05-07T09:19:46.809-07:00White Butterflies<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>White Butterfly meaning</b>: the soul of a child, transformation, purity, truth, growth, change, symbol of the soul, sign of angels watching over you, good luck, sign of a good life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After I lost Evelyn, God tuned me in to his creation and his touch more than ever. A few months after my loss, I went for a walk and a big, beautiful white butterfly flew in front of me and landed on the green grass. It was one of those happenings that were covered in God's glory. The more I have experienced these moments, the more I have come to know the Holy Spirit, prompts from God, etc. God has revealed to me how much he is in control of his creation. My eyes shoot down at a word in the Bible and the word or passage feels like it is jumping out at me, I spot a white butterfly in the distance as I'm driving. All these things are not "me looking for something"...it is God. He directs my eyes, he puts his creation into motion at the exact moment...and then they meet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I knew that the white butterfly on my walk was from God, and so I went home to look up the meaning of a white butterfly. And I read....some believe it is the soul of a child, etc., etc. I sat in awe of how God was speaking to me about my hurt and about my daughter's presence in heaven and the gift of divine encounters with him. I do not believe, however, that the white butterfly is Evie's soul. What I do believe is that God is in total control of all his creation, giving angels some control, and possibly giving people in heaven a little control. To me, this white butterfly was a little gift from God, Evie, and the angels that are with me...when the pain is just too much to handle, they are saying "I am with you, we are with you...see?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After this first white butterfly incident, many more followed...too many to count. A few I remember distinctly. On Mother's Day 2011, the first Mother's Day after I lost Evie, my mom on and I were on the back porch talking before the Rock Goodbye Angel Balloon Release, and this white butterfly fluttered around us for about 30 minutes. It went away for a few minutes, and I went inside to get my camera. I knew it would be back. And sure enough, I came back outside and a few minutes later and it showed up....fluttering around us, and then landing on my big toe. I'll never forget the feeling of those tiny, delicate feet walking all around my toe. It stayed for a good minute and I got a picture of it. My mom and I were both speechless. We knew this butterfly was special the whole time it was with us...and then for it to land on my toe...it was confirmation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I was having a pretty hard time the week or so leading up to my birthday, and I prayed for God to show me something to help me through...to know he was there. I was outside letting Max go the bathroom and this white butterfly flew right in front of my face...within inches. I immediately felt the overwhelming presence of God, and was so thankful for this little sign that he was with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A week or so later at the Rock Goodbye Angel Angel Babies 5K, held yesterday on May 6th....I was getting close to the finish line at the end of mile 1 and a white butterfly flew across the path in front of me. I wasn't sure if I'd run at all, but upon starting, I was determined I would. I made it about a mile and half without stopping to walk, praying the whole time for God to give me strength. I really had not trained and had not even jogged more than a few yards at a time since before I was pregnant with Evelyn. To see this white butterfly during this special run, was an amazing gift from God. God's overwhelming presence was with me the whole time, and I heard him whispering to me...I am your strength, I am proud of you, you are a survivor, my glory is on you. I was holding back tears the entire time...feeling God's heavy grace on me, knowing how far I had come since my loss a year and a half ago, remembering my little angel who is so dear to my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We had signs made with our child's name on them that were placed throughout the course, and we took them home at the end of the day. I wasn't sure what I would do with mine, but my mom suggested putting it in the garden off the back patio near Evie's rock. I went out there this morning to put it in the ground and a white butterfly showed up...fluttering all around me. It landed on the ledge of the rock wall, I bent down and slowly put my finger right up to it, thinking it would definitely fly away. It stuck out it's very long tongue and felt around on my finger...then it slowly crawled onto it. I slowly stood up and just held the butterfly inches from my face marveling at it's beauty. What an amazing creature. To see this delicate creation so close up...I was in heaven for a moment. It walked all around from finger to finger, using it's tongue the whole time to feel around first.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I can only think that it was God that allowed this butterfly to have such trust for me...that it would crawl right onto my finger instead of flying away. Allowing me to bring it so close to my face, staying for a couple minutes...enough to bless me tremendously with our encounter. I believe there are opportunities daily, for everyone, who have prayed for new eyes to see and new ears to hear....to witness God in action, to feel and know his presence. If you ask, you will receive. What He has in store for us....it's unimaginable! Please, be reconciled to God through Christ.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"No eye has seen,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">No ear has heard,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">No mind has conceived</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">what God has prepared for those who love him"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">-1 Corinthians 2:8</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #001320; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.</span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Matthew 7:7</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">2 Corinthians 4:6</span><br />
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<span class="text 2Cor-5-11" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><u>2 Corinthians 5:11-21: The Ministry of Reconciliation</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="text 2Cor-5-11">Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28889L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></sup>we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28889M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></sup></span><span class="text 2Cor-5-12" id="en-NIV-28890"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">12 </sup>We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28890N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></sup>but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28890O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup>so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-13" id="en-NIV-28891"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">13 </sup>If we are “out of our mind,” <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28891P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup>as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-14" id="en-NIV-28892"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">14 </sup>For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28892Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup></span><span class="text 2Cor-5-15" id="en-NIV-28893"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">15 </sup>And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28893R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup>but for him who died for them <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28893S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup>and was raised again.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="text 2Cor-5-16" id="en-NIV-28894"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">16 </sup>So from now on we regard no one from a worldly <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28894T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup>point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-17" id="en-NIV-28895"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">17 </sup>Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28895U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup>the new creation <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28895V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup>has come:<sup class="footnote" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28895a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+5&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28895a" style="color: #b37162; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</sup> The old has gone, the new is here! <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28895W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></sup></span><span class="text 2Cor-5-18" id="en-NIV-28896"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">18 </sup>All this is from God, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28896X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></sup>who reconciled us to himself through Christ <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28896Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)"></sup>and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-19" id="en-NIV-28897"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">19 </sup>that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28897Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></sup>And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-5-20" id="en-NIV-28898"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">20 </sup>We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28898AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)"></sup>as though God were making his appeal through us. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28898AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup>We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28898AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)"></sup></span><span class="text 2Cor-5-21" id="en-NIV-28899"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">21 </sup>God made him who had no sin <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28899AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></sup>to be sin<sup class="footnote" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28899b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+5&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28899b" style="color: #b37162; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote b">b</a>]</sup> for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.</span></span></div>Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-41043468377622093772012-04-23T11:06:00.001-07:002012-04-23T11:08:46.553-07:00The Second Year: Your Child Is Still Not Here, Your Pain Is Still So RealThe dreaded second year...however necessary and unavoidable, still dreadful. I don't mean to sound without hope, because I have experienced a great amount of healing in the year and a half since the loss of my daughter, Evelyn, but never did I grasp what I was going to have to endure in the "years" after...for me, now in the second year after my loss. In the first year, hindsight looking back you are actually still in a broad state of shock. You have a lot of coping mechanisms working for you, hormones, adrenaline, numbness, all of the above. I am not a grief expert, and I haven't even really researched into this...I am just speaking on what I felt, and what I can generally attest to knowing the little that I do. You are trying to figure out how to "survive" again. Get up...get out of bed...take a shower(at some point...lol), be around people, eat, drink...just survive. It is a serious task to do all of these. You forget to eat, you forget to run a simple errand...every day is a marathon and a great success if you make it through just one more day. The second year, the shock has worn off considerably...and you are cycling through all those dreaded milestones, holidays, etc...AGAIN. They say all your "firsts" are really hard....and they are...but you have shock on your side. Not in the second year. You are thinking...I gotta go through this again?? New Years, my birthday, Mother's Day, and of course your child's second birthday. And now, you are feeling things a lot more, you feel more in touch with reality. You don't have that out of body feeling anymore...your spirit is back in your body...feeling, experiencing everything. The reality hits. Your child is still not here, and your pain is still so real. And you somehow feel expected to be OK by now...you expect this from yourself a little more, and you certainly feel it from others. Whether you project that on yourself about others...or if others really feel that way, it doesn't matter. You feel a sense that you should be "moved on" or "better" by now. So, you act all normal around close friends, family, co-workers, etc., but inside you are practically dying a second death in the second year. You put a smile on...and behind closed doors you have breakdowns, meltdowns, cry fests...regularly. You try to become a productive member of society again. You force yourself to do things, or at least I do...that you absolutely DO NOT want to do...or feel right or good about doing. I love my family...but those are the most painful times for me. The entire family gathering together, eating dinner all at the same table...talking, looking at each other...all eyes are focused, when all you want is for people to barely notice you, so you don't have to think what they are thinking that you feel, to remind you of how you feel...and it is always there, in the back of your head...pain, grief, loss, agony. Every bite of food you swallow, it feels like you are feasting on a handful of thorns, painfully forcing each bite down, so you appear normal. Sitting, eating, talking, laughing, when all you are doing on the inside is crying. My daughter is supposed to be sitting there with us...and I feel her loss the most during those times. If it was up to me, there would be no family gathering, no laughing, no feasting...only mourning...because that is all that feels real to me right now. Every time you make a decision or think about making a decision that goes against the grain or is out of the norm for you or your family...you feel like you are rocking the boat, when your boat has already been capsized, and "mayday, mayday" has been echoing in your head for 18 months now. Oh, the life of a grieving mother...God is good, but the day to day realities just suck sometimes. I look forward to the day that I can honestly say, I'm OK. I think it's important to be honest about how you are feeling in order to heal, and instead of just being a complainer in writing this, I hope to help another grieving mother know she is not alone in these feelings that are not always so pretty...and that it is healthy to express them. His grace showers over it all...the good and the ugly. Still thankful for another day in His presence and the gift I've been given in my salvation...if nothing else, today.Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-71713986662850831202012-04-15T18:30:00.002-07:002012-04-15T18:44:41.697-07:00We Can Plan, But Only God's Will Stands<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">If you have lost a baby, the discussion of people's future plans raise a certain amount of unrest</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">and I have found this to be more common among us who have experienced full-term losses...when it is least expected to lose a baby. It is especially bothersome</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;"> when it comes to the plans of pregnant moms and dads. They say, "we are going to do this when the baby is here, when the baby is born, when we get home with the baby, when the baby is six months old...etc." The most ambiguous of all is the "birth plan." I absolutely do not fault these parents...as this is what we all did, myself included; however, it doesn't make it any less strange, especially when you hear it from those that know about your recent loss or who were very close to you during your loss. It almost feels disrespectful when they speak with such certainty about their plans around you, and you almost want to say, "were you not there when I was doing and talking about all these things...did you already forget what happened to me? And did you forget that YOU aren't the one that will decide this or that, or if any of us will even be alive tomorrow?" It's not that we want to rob these people of the joy of daydreaming about their baby and their future wishes for the baby...it's just something about that absolute certainty with which they speak of these plans around you, that make it seem almost offensive.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">Like I stated earlier, it really is no fault to these parents, and I am not faulting them at all. I'm just being honest in expressing this after-loss commonality that I share with most moms who have had a similar loss as mine...the kind of loss when the very time you are supposed to hear the first cry from your child...there is no sound at all. You ask, "well, should they not speak about these things at all? Or make any plans? And are you not happy for them?" And my answer is no, no, no to all of those! It would be really nice however to hear someone say, "you know, if it's God's will and everyone is "healthy," we would love to _____ or _____with baby Sally." Or to go further..."We know, especially after witnessing what _____ went through that we are not guaranteed this baby's life. We have so much respect for what he/she lost and pray everyday that we have the chance to care for this little life on the outside." I know, that I will CERTAINLY speak on this level if I am blessed to carry a baby again. We should really have this mindset about all things in life...any future plans...because everything is in God's hands and up to His will...not ours. I am focusing on the pregnancy topic because this is the category that hits closest to home for me right now as I lost my daughter, Evelyn, a year and a half ago, two days before her due date due to a cord accident.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess no matter how much empathy you think you have for someone and their loss, you can NEVER quite fully grasp what has happened to them or put yourself in their shoes, or know what to say...and especially not be able to fathom that it could EVER happen to you. And to these people's defense...they may speak this way because it terrifies them to ever let their mind go there for themselves...to that place where they saw you experience the greatest loss of your life, and to think it could happen to them just as easily</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">. And because they have never been through it, it is unknown territory, and in their mind, they can't imagine going through it and making it out alive...so they don't think about it. It is just not an option for them and their baby. And so, they continue to make their plans with the assumed outcome of a healthy and living baby...but not for me, never again.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">I came across this scripture not too long ago and find it very relevant to this topic about our future plans:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">James 4:13-16</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Corbel, Verdana, sans-serif;">I take this scripture very seriously...and how could I not? My daughter's life, and the experience of losing her days before her due date has taught me not to take one day for granted or to boast about any future plans that I have. Even I still do this out of habit, but I certainly have a greater respect than ever before for God's power to give and to take away, and ultimately for knowing that it's His will that will prevail and not mine, nor my plans. I don't know if there is any greater "planning" or "preparation" than that that goes along with expecting a baby. And I don't think you can ever quite respect what I am talking about here unless you were like me, sitting in a room FULL of baby stuff...from two showers and nine months of preparing...stuff coming out of your ears...processing that the little one inside of you...who you have been waiting nine months to see and hold...has taken a detour to heaven instead...and that you won't have the opportunity to take care of this baby after all, nor will you hear her first cry or see her smile. And if you hadn't been so certain the baby would eventually be living and breathing in your arms, you might not have prepared quite to the extent that you did for something so uncertain, something that is completely out of your control, that rests in God's hands alone. He will have His will regardless of your plans...only God's will stands. Instead, you would just live each and every day, not boasting about tomorrow, but praying and trusting in His provision, believing in His goodness and sovereignty, never fooling yourself that you are in control, hoping for, but never expecting tomorrow. Simply resting in the knowledge of your salvation.</span>Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-30685368126612477132012-02-21T19:55:00.153-08:002012-04-18T09:41:13.611-07:00O' Wounded One, I Was There to Brace Your FallGod has an amazing way of keeping my attention, imparting wisdom, and keeping me intrigued with His word, even when I am not spending quite the time I should engrossed in it. He uses his divine touch in the seen world to keep me enamored with the unseen. Since my daughter Evelyn passed, and my walk with the Lord has deepened, the truth about how God's sovereignty/his will over what happens to us works along with the decisions we make/our "free will" has left me intrigued and somewhat confused. Some things I believe are just left to faith, and because his thoughts are not our thoughts, and his ways are not our ways, we are not always supposed to understand everything fully. How could we? We are just humans, and God is God.<br />
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I have found myself a little annoyed at women in my situation that curse God, and go on and on about how they didn't deserve for their baby to die, and there are so many bad mothers that abuse their kids, leave them in hot cars, etc. and why did "this" happen to me and not them. To me, this is their lack of understanding, or lack of wisdom to accept that God has his ways, and sometimes we won't ever understand why he allows bad things to happen to us.<br />
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"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord, as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9<br />
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Ok, so if God is sovereign and he knows everything that will happen to us and all the choices we are going to make, then how is it that we have free will? Because if God already knows I am going to sin, and it has already been forseen/determined that I will make that choice, then how is that free will?<br />
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God has revealed some insight to me on this subject, first using a dream. I woke up one morning from a dream in which my soul was moving along with two iron rods, one to the right and one to the left...functioning similar to reins. These rods were connected to an iron gate that was out in front of me. I was moving along in between the iron rods, and the gates would open or shut, but only by God. I was free to move back and forth between the iron rods, and I interpreted this as walking in God's will, while still exercising my free will. I was free to live between the constraints of the iron reins, but I could not venture beyond them. The opening and shutting of the iron gate ahead of me was not in my control. They would open and shut as I was moving along, but only by God's command. I believe God showed me through this dream that only he is in control of opening and closing doors in our life, and until He does so, we are to just trust him and obey him, living in the protection of his will...between the iron rods.<br />
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A few days ago, I walked out the back door to the porch to drill a couple holes in one of my Jewel Boards. I'm squatting down in front of the glass door, holding the frame on the ground, and a bird flies into the door, falls, bounces off the back of my neck, falls over my shoulder, and lands right between my feet. I look down in shock and then jump up. The bird just lays there a second and then hops up to its feet. I proceed to ask the bird if he's O.K. (I know!) and I'm thinking about where some gloves are so I can pick him up if he's injured too badly, but then he hops a little, pauses, and flies away. If I had only walked out a second later or was squatting just inches away from where I was?!...I mean, was I supposed to be there to brace his fall? This whole scene was so bizarre that I knew it was from God, so I went inside and started praying and asked God what he wanted me to know about it. I felt that God told me I was him and the bird was me in this situation. If I represented God...I did not cause the bird to crash into the door, but I was there immediately to brace his fall, in the exact place I needed to be to help him, so that his landing did not take him out completely.<br />
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<b>Isaiah 48:9-11</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="text Isa-48-9" id="en-NKJV-18624" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">“For My name’s sake I will defer My anger,</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-9" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">And <i>for</i> My praise I will restrain it from you,</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-9" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">So that I do not cut you off.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-10" id="en-NKJV-18625" style="background-color: white; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">10 </sup>Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-10" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-11" id="en-NKJV-18626" style="background-color: white; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">11 </sup>For My own sake, for My own sake, I will do <i>it;</i></span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-11" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">For how should <i>My name</i> be profaned?</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span class="text Isa-48-11" style="background-color: white; position: relative;">And I will not give My glory to another.</span></span> <br />
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Maybe God doesn't cause us to get in a head-on collision in our life, but because bad things do happen in this fallen world, and he knows the things that will happen to us, He is there and not a second too late and in the exact place to brace our fall. This is true whether it is out of our control or due to our own sin. God uses these events in our life to refine us. And, even in our sin...because He<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> "<span style="background-color: white;">has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all." (Romans 11:32). </span></span>So after these tragedies or refining events in our life, he just reassures us and watches us as we get to our feet, until we eventually fly again...watching and waiting to pick us up into his arms if we need Him. Ok, so you may think this is a little deep for a bird falling on me, lol, but God also reminded me of the scripture below in realizing how He went to extreme measures to protect this bird by making sure I was there in that spot at that moment...and How much more He is their for us, but we just can't see the extreme measures He takes to protect and provide for us, in our joy <i>and </i>in our pain...<br />
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“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Mathew 6:25-27Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-71667458392988737992011-10-27T21:49:00.002-07:002012-02-21T19:07:51.568-08:00Divine SisterhoodAs many of you know, Evelyn has two blood related sisters here on earth. I loved these little girls as my own, so when their father and I broke off the engagement, I experienced a great loss. I was cut out of their life in an instant, when he had previously made me vow to never leave them because of the great impact he saw that I had on their lives. I was never really sure if Moriah or Isabella had been told about their sister, whom was growing in my womb, and I worried constantly how this new life would be embraced...or not embraced.<br />
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What I didn't know at that time was that God had a plan to restore a family to Evelyn and I, but not the one I had sought to reconcile with for the many months during my pregnancy.<br />
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After Evelyn passed away at almost 40 weeks gestation due to a cord accident, I attended various support groups. I have made some great friends, and I have developed a family of bereaved moms and dads that share an experience that only we can understand. I want to tell you specifically about two families and 3 little girls that are Evelyn's new sisters in heaven.<br />
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I met Holly at the Gwinnett hospital support group, Open Arms. She just wept the first time she came and shared much of herself with us in such a vulnerable and genuine way. She has three boys but longed for her little girl, Nevaeh. Her boys were so excited about their sister and grieved with her. The second time I saw her at group, she shared with us that she had accepted Christ as her savior, and I wanted to leap for joy at that moment. I was in such awe and amazement to see how God used this precious girl to bring her mom the gift of eternal life. I was so inspired and filled with the Holy Spirit a few days later thinking about this miracle of Him, that I wrote a poem for Holly, in honor of Nevaeh, titled, "Nevaeh "Grace"." <br />
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><b>Nevaeh “Grace”</b></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">She has three boys at home, I know</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">To kiss and hold them close</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">They play trains and tractors</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">And wear all the same clothes</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">But on that day she had a sparkle </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">In her eye to know</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">She could put away the camo and the collars</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">And buy little pink bows</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">The boys were going to dote so well</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">on this little baby girl</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">They named her Nevaeh Luag Ntxhi</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">No, they didn't even know</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">That God had a plan to take her home</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Nothing less than a mighty blow</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">To heaveN He prepared a place for her</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">And with it, a new name like so…</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">He spoke to me so softly, "Nevaeh Grace, to you"</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Because it was grace that saved her mommy, Holly</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">When she said, "Yes Jesus, I want to know you too</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Because I can see you on that cross right now</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">So we could know our Father through you</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">I know my baby girl is there,</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">And I want to be with you one day too"</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Spell her name right to left, and you'll know</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">His purpose was spoken before anyone ever knew</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">"Smiling happily" says her mom</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Is the meaning of Luag Ntxhi</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">But, oh, sweet little Grace</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">When Heaven took you in that day</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">So happily you were smiling</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">When He told you that your purpose was</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">To save your mommy by His blood, and your little brothers, too</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">And now the time you have </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">With your loved ones who are so dear to you</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Is more than you would ever have on earth</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Don’t you know it’s so, so true</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">He chose you as His child, sweet one</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Nevaeh, in heaveN they’ll surely be with you</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Holly is a great friend and is now a part of the Jewels from Heaven benefit on Oct. 28th, 2011 to honor her baby girl to help prevent the human trafficking of children. Nevaeh is surely playing with Evelyn up in Heaven, and when I am with Holly, I feel the great love she has for her daughter. We are all adopted into God's family, and so God gave Evelyn a sweet sister named Nevaeh. Nevaeh was born on March 27th, 2011.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
<b>Evelyn's other sisters...</b><br />
On December 8th, 2010, not even two months after I lost Evelyn, I received this message from Chelsea Wallis on Evie's memorial site:</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">"I woke up this morning only to have your and Evelyn's miraculous story cross my path. I too go to 12stone. I too have a sweet baby girl born to heaven on Oct 29th 2010. Oh mama how I wish I could hug you! Email me if you like xxxxx@yahoo.com. May God bless you and your family today as Evelyn looks down upon you. = )" </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">As Chelsea shared her story of losing Lainey Grace on 10.29.10, I learned that she had actually experienced a second loss at 32 weeks gestation just a couple weeks prior on August 11th, 2011 with her second daughter, whom she named Evelyn. I was shocked to hear of her second loss and equally shocked to hear that name. That beautiful name. She also mentioned that they had nicknamed her Evie, but pronounced E-V, as opposed to eh-V. I then shared my story and told her and her husband how shocked I was that God had given us TWO unbelievable connections with the date of our losses on 10.29.10 and with the name Evelyn.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">Chelsea and Erik are also now a part of the Jewels from Heaven benefit, and are representing their sweet girls to help prevent human trafficking. Chelsea and I were instant friends, and are still in shock at the connections God has given us. Lainey Grace and Evelyn Juliet are now sisters to my Evelyn Marie in heaven, and I believe that full well.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">God spoke to me one morning a couple months ago, and I heard something like "come together all you who mourn." I now fully realize the importance of these ladies in my life, along with the other ladies and couples I have developed friendships with that have experienced similar losses. We can look into each other's eyes with an understanding that only we can have towards each other, and it is very comforting. This is the closest thing to God's comfort that is available in the seen world. I believe that is why he spoke that to me, because he understands the importance of having that comfort to allow for healing after a loss. </div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">"Blessed by the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ."-2 Corinthians 1:3-5</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">At the time He spoke to me, I did not really understand or accept my new identity, but have come to the full acceptance of the "new normal" of who I am with the memory of Evelyn held in my heart for the rest of my life. I have also embraced and fully seek to cultivate the relationships in this new family that God has given me and Evelyn.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing">"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" -Matthew 5:4</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"> </div>Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3413288216807726807.post-85041539823833238372011-10-04T21:25:00.001-07:002015-10-16T14:21:48.752-07:00My Jewel<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
God has put it on my heart for a while now to blog, and He has been relentless in His pursuit to get me to share the things He has spoken to me. I have been journaling since my daughter, Evelyn, passed, and it has been very helpful to me. I have written to her directly, and I also document the miracles and the works the Lord is doing in my life, but I felt that He wanted me to step out and share these things with others...to encourage you to seek Him, and experience His glory and His grace for yourselves, through a real, personal relationship with Him. You can view my daughter's memorial page and my testimony on the <a href="http://evelynmarie.moonfruit.com/">Baby Evie Website</a>.<br />
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"They tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might, so that all people may know of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom." -Psalm 145:11-12 <br />
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I will try to explain <i>how</i> the Lord has spoken to me, so that you can be attentive to receiving a personal message from Him yourself. Because unless you have a personal relationship with God, it is really hard to <i>get</i> how He speaks and how He works, and even harder to understand what you are missing if He is not in your life. To hear from God and to see Him working in your life takes accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior, truly seeking Him by praying, being still and listening, being transformed by the word, and eventually learning to recognize the Holy Spirit's guidance through the new eyes and ears He will give you.<br />
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"Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear." Matthew 13:16<br />
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“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8<br />
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You will also become keenly aware that it is Him working in your life, especially through the "coincidences" that are not actually coincidences at all! Even when He <i>is</i> working in your life, it is hard to explain His mysterious ways, but I will try my best! His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts.<br />
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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,<br />
neither are your ways my ways,”<br />
declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth,<br />
so are my ways higher than your ways<br />
and my thoughts than your thoughts."<br />
(Isaiah 55:8-9) <br />
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To try and understand God's ways is like trying to understand infinity. But when He is in your life and you have accepted His grace and have given over your own agenda, you will be filled with joy and peace in His presence. He is a BIG God, so mighty and full a love that is so great for His children. You will be overcome and in awe of this loving God who is full of grace. We are to thank him and praise Him for the miracles and the blessings He pours out, and more importantly, praise Him for who He is, singing, "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty." That is what all of heaven is singing, along with my sweet daughter, so I figure these are the best words available to me as an earthly creature :). Although we live on this earth, we do not have to be <i>of</i> this world.<br />
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(In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. <span class="reftext"></span>Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. <span class="reftext"></span>And they were calling to one another:<br />
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“Holy, holy, holy is the <span class="nivsmallcaps">Lord</span> Almighty;</div>
<div class="TXTTWO">
the whole earth is full of his glory.” </div>
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<span class="reftext"></span>At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.</div>
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-Isaiah 6:1-4)</div>
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("Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father<sup> </sup>is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." -1 John 2:15-17)<br />
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I was a lukewarm Christian for a long time, and I did not think it was necessary to give over my will and live according to His commands and His will, and I did not seek a relationship with Him...but the blessing of living in His grace far outweighs anything I could have planned or dreamed up for myself living under my own will. There is freedom like none other in fully surrendering your will over to God, and I so desperately want this freedom for other people. Every soul is of such great worth to Him, and His desire is that every one love Him, worship Him, and know Him on an intimate level.<br />
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<span class="woj">...who <b>desires all people to be saved</b> and come to the full knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 1:4</span> <br />
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<b>There is Freedom... </b><br />
Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32<br />
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<b>He loves us so much, He sacrificed His only son...</b><br />
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."<br />
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<b>We are worth so much to Him...</b><br />
<span class="woj">"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.<sup> </sup></span><span class="woj">And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.</span> <span class="woj">So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)</span><br />
<span class="woj"> </span><br />
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<span class="woj"><b>We are nothing without Him </b><br />
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"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5<br />
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13<br />
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<b>We are new in Him... </b><br />
<span class="woj">"The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure"...Jeremiah 17:9</span><br />
BUT He says,<br />
''I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees . . . '' Ezekiel 36,:26-27.<br />
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I pray that you will become a man or woman open to receiving His living word, His message for your life, and that you would be able to discern the gifts of God...the hidden manna. <br />
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"To him who overcomes, <b>I will give some of the hidden manna</b>. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it." Revelation 2:17 <br />
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However, "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot not understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." 1 Corinthians 2:14<br />
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<span class="woj">The Lord has given me spiritual discernment to hear from Him in a real way, and I am going to share these experiences in stories. My first story is about mine and Evelyn's worth to the Lord, and the new names He has given us. He can give you a new name too. His love is so great, and He desires to give you the eternal blessings in heaven that I know Evelyn is already receiving! The clock is ticking on earth, but where will you be when time is obsolete? "<b>Man is like a breath</b>, his days are like a fleeting shadow." (Psalm 144:4) </span><br />
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"I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and <em>with </em>fire." -Matthew 3:11<br />
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"Then Peter said unto them, "Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."" -Acts 2:38<br />
<span class="woj"><br />
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Jesus answered, <span class="woj">“Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. -John 3:5</span><br />
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. <b> In my Father's house are many rooms</b>; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:-3<br />
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<span class="woj">"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16<br />
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<span class="woj"> </span><b> </b><br />
<b>I received eternal life through Jesus' sacrifice, and was awakened to a God-centered life through the blessing of my daughter, Evelyn.</b><br />
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<b>God told me that Evelyn is my jewel in this life. </b>How? No, He did not come down from a cloud and say in His mighty tone, "Christy, Evelyn is your jewel!" But nonetheless, He has told me that in a more complicated, woven manner using His Word, my thoughts, other people, and His perfect timing.<br />
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Shortly after I lost my daughter, I just opened the Bible and I began reading in Job. I came across some powerful and relevant scripture, especially in his plea to have been "like a stillborn child."<br />
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"Or why was I not hidden in the ground like a stillborn child, like an infant who never saw the light of day?" (Job 3:16)<br />
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This made me realize how blessed my child was to go straight to heaven before she ever took a breath in this world.<br />
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I could also relate to Job's grief, given we had both lost our child/children...and experienced the same suffering that follows. But please know that after reading ALL of what God allowed Satan to do to Job, I was actually thankful that the Lord did not find me to be <i>that</i> strong of a person, to be used as an example of faith like he chose to use Job. It was like, wheww, thank you Lord that I am not Job! I talked to my friends about reading Job, and my friend Sarah said, "Christy, you <i>know</i> what God gave Job in the second half of his life, right??" I didn't know, because I had not gotten that far yet, and not having much knowledge of the Word up to this point in my life, I was unaware, so she began telling me how God gave him twice as much in the latter part of his life, giving him the same exact number of children he had lost(so we thought), three daughters and seven sons. <br />
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So, excitedly, I kinda skipped past all the back and forth speeches between Job and his friends, and read at the end of the book that Job was given so many sheep, camel, oxen, and donkeys, and that he had three daughters, and seven sons, his first daughter was named Jemimah, etc, etc, etc...and that was all I could really focus on, because after losing my daughter I was desperate for answers and something to "fix" it. I wasn't sure how God could make it right...and in my naivety, I thought that he would give me another daughter, like He gave Job, to somehow make up for the one He had taken. And not fully grasping at that time the worth and true, permanent relevancy of my daughter, Evelyn, as my first daughter, the thought came to me that if God gives me another daughter, I will name her<b> Jewel </b>after Job's <i>first</i> daughter, Jemimah (Jem/Gem=<b>Jewel</b>), and I wrote this in my journal. <br />
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The next day I was cleaning and I stopped to open this small, pink leather Bible that was sitting on my nightstand, given to me as a gift at the 12Stone Single Mom's Christmas party, and I just started reading. In a matter of moments I read the following scriptures: Song of Songs 3:9-"You have stolen my heart with one <b>jewel</b> of your necklace, then Song of Songs 5:12-"His eyes are like doves mounted like <b>jewels</b>," Song of Songs 7:1-"Your graceful legs are like <b>jewels</b>." Then I flipped open to another place in the Bible and read Isaiah 13:19-"Babylon, the <b>jewel</b> of Kingdoms..." At the time I thought, WOW, God is giving me such amazing confirmation about having another daughter someday!...<b>Jewel</b>. I was filled with hope.<br />
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Some time later I read about Jemimah, Job's first daughter, in the Book, <i>All the Women of the Bible</i>, by Herbert Lockyer, that I found in our garage. I read that Jemimah means "little dove" after some occurrence of early infancy...and was overwhelmed by the connection to Evelyn, since her name means "little bird" in French. I also read that it is not very clear at the end of Job if God actually gave him another three daughters and seven sons...or if it was referring to the original children Job had. Because once you have children, they are yours for eternity, and they have relevancy in this life as well. I was starting to see the connection between Jemimah and Evelyn. I realized that God was telling me that Evelyn <i>was</i> my <b>jewel</b>...my first daughter. As I looked at her picture and saw His majesty in her face, and all that she had taught me and brought me in this life...I was filled with my love for her, and for God, that He loved me so much to bless me with such a special child...the purest gift, an angel, free from sin and free from pain or hurt. She <i>is</i> my first daughter, and <i>Evelyn</i> is the "<b>Jewel</b>" that he promised me...that He had already given me. This was the new name that He gave her. <br />
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<b>The Lord also gave me a new name:</b><br />
I am His <b>Diamond.</b> I went to a local church to have a *prophetic session done in January and the lady that prayed over me used the analogy of a diamond to describe me and what God was doing in my life. The lady was describing the process that a diamond goes through to become a diamond...how a diamond starts out as a black hole and after so much pressure it turns into a beautiful, shiny diamond. She said that God knew how hard things had been for me, but that it was necessary for me to be put under all that pressure, so that I could come out shining. She also said that she heard Him singing the song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine" over me. And from the gentleman there with her, that I am a love and a hope agent, and that teaching and healing are my gifts. Teaching to my peers, and healing, not by my words, but by His healing presence through me. She told me that there is so much of who God is, in me. She said to keep smiling at strangers, because someone may be touched by God's love that hadn't felt it in a long time...or ever before. They gave an example of people being healed by Peter's shadow, over-shadowing them. (Acts 5:12-16).<br />
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I tell you this to give you a picture of what it is like to to receive your true, glory-filled identity when you are in God's will. He created each of us so uniquely and with purposes equally beautiful. Your new identity and new name in Christ is waiting on the other side of fully surrendering your will over to Him.<br />
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Upon my realization of what the Lord was telling me, and after many conversations about the little miracles I was receiving, I said to my mom, "see, <b>I am His diamond and she is my jewel</b>."<b> </b>After this, in a listening prayer session with my friend, she asked me if I wanted to ask God what my new name was from Him, and I told her, I think I already know, and I think I know Evelyn's new name, too. Before I could tell her, she said, it would only make sense that your names are very similar. I had to laugh knowing it was God that gave her that insight in that moment to help me confirm I had heard from him correctly about our new names. His "coincidences" are like little miracles, little shots of joy!<br />
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"To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna.<b> I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it</b>, known only to him who receives it." Revelation 2:17 <br />
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Before learning of this scripture, I was on a mission to make memorial rocks, so I created my own mold using layers and layers of silicone, and then poured concrete in it when it was ready. It was quite the process, making the model just the right shape out of clay, and then painting each layer of silicone on it, letting each layer dry before adding another. Mixing the concrete...getting it wrong multiple times. And finally, making my first stone, writing Evie on it and drawing the side view of a butterfly. After a few attempts to make additional stones, the first one was the only one that remained, and I felt done with the project. I believe God led me to do this to understand the process of "overcoming...the patience, the layers, the mistakes, and the perfect gift at the end, and then to also help me realize once again the relevancy of His perfect gift to me...the gift of Evelyn, existing singularly and perfectly by His will, and not to be replicated. And more clearly, to symbolize the white stone he had given me with a new name written on it, all due to and linked to the existence of my daughter. It only made sense that her name would be written on my stone. <br />
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What exactly does it mean that Evelyn is my <b>jewel</b>? I interpret this partly through something else the gentlemen said in my prophetic session...that "<b>many things will be birthed from this</b>." He was explaining a vision he had of what he thought was me crawling into the Father's arms like an infant being held by her father(not knowing about my situation)...and that <i>that</i> was my hallmark in life (my <b> jewel</b>)...being so close to God, being able to come to Him in a real way, as if I could just crawl right into his lap...and that many things would birth from this...from that type of relationship. In my interpretation, he was also talking about Evelyn when he was referring to an infant in the Father's arms...and my close relationship with God birthing from Evie, my <b>jewel</b>. My precious <b>jewel</b> that <i>is</i> in His lap, that would draw my eyes to heaven, as if I could crawl right into His lap with her. This gift that He used to create such a real relationship with Him, just as real as the relationship I had with Evelyn the nine months she lived inside of me and the 13 hours I got to spend with her in my arms...AND that many things would birth from this...that many things would "birth" from giving birth to Evelyn, from my experience, from my love for her, and from my relationship with God. And oh, how He used her to draw me right into His heavenly presence.<br />
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As He reveals these things that will be birthed from Evie...I hope to blog about them, so that others can walk this journey with me, and see His miracles and His grace unfold in my life to encourage you of the miracles and the grace you can experience in your own life. You are one decision away from experiencing a life full of miracles for yourself! I saw the mansions in heaven in a dream...the place he is preparing for his sons and daughters, and I assure you, it is real. Heaven is a real place! Read, "Heaven is for Real," by Todd Burpo, and please let me or someone you know pray with you about your life and your eternity<br />
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Some of these "things" have already started to take shape...so I hope to share them with you soon...<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Glimpse of next story: </span>"<b>Wisdom through Jewelry"</b><br />
After writing this blog, and after getting hired at Rahab's Rope, an anti-human trafficking ministry using <b>jewel</b>ry as a tool, I was walking from the storefront to the office, separated by a couple stores, and saw the engraved plaque of the store next to ours that reads "Gem <b>Jewel</b>ry Co." All I saw was "Gem <b>Jewel</b>" as if the rest was cut-off(Jem/Gem=<b>Jewel</b>, referenced above)...and experienced a "God moment" knowing I was in the right place at that exact moment, that he had me right where he wanted me! What a peace that came over me to know that I was walking in His purpose for me at this time in my life. Prior to getting hired at Rahab's Rope, the Lord also brought me to the opportunity with Premier Designs(high fashion <b>jewel</b>ry), which I am still involved with. He confirmed my starting with Premier Designs using scripture about wisdom and <b>jewel</b>s and through a dream about learning public speaking. He confirmed my starting with Rahab's Rope through my first conversation with one of the founders(multiple connections/coincidences). Then, He also confirmed that I be involved in both! Two <b>jewel</b>ry companies! I am also planning a benefit to prevent human trafficking on my daughter's one year anniversary to heaven that has recently been renamed to "<b>Jewels</b> from Heaven" through God's prompt. It's like I am hearing <b>jewel, jewel, jewel, jewel, jewel</b>, just like I read in the Bible that day! God is so good! <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*prophetic session: just wanted to clarify that this is nothing like a psychic reading. The people that do prophetic sessions have the gift of prophecy, which is really just receiving words of edification from the Holy Spirit to fellow Christians. Do some more research on 'gift of prophecy' if you want to know more.</span></div>
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Christyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05915211431069715522noreply@blogger.com1